There is this gem on
Vorb
Dear Spammers
While I realize that running a popular website does increase the profile of my e-mail addresses I feel that having to wait an hour this morning for my e-mail client to process and bin over twenty thousand pieces of spam is taking things a bit to far.
To help save us both a whole heap of time I suggest you take the following facts on board before sending me e-mails.
1.) Sending a dozen slightly different e-mails purporting to be from a bank I don't belong to asking me to update my account details is a bit of a bloody give-away.
2.) I have no need for any pharmaceuticals, and if I did require medicine I most certainly wouldn't buy it off someone who can't spell properly.
3.) I am more than happy with the size and performance of my wanger, and am confused by your earnest interest in it.
4.) I do not play the stockmarket, and even if I did I sure as hell wouldn't bet my lifes savings on anonymous stock advice from people who also can't spell properly.
5.) If I'm intelligent enough to turn my computer on and connect to the internet then I'm not going to believe that you're are willing to pay me 10% OF TWENTY FIVE MILLION US DOLLERS if I "just" give you my bank account details.
6.) I do not want OEM software, fake watches or fake handbags. Honestly.
7.) I know there is porn on the internet, and am 100% sure I don't need your help to find it.
8.) As I live in New Zealand offering me a mortage in California is being hopelessly optimistic for both of us.
With these points in mind I hope to find my Inbox spam free tomorrow. If not I hope you slip in the shower, and fall through the shower door.
Yours sincerely
Tama Easton